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Living with a personality disorder or mental health problem means that understanding and managing your thoughts, feelings and behaviour can be more difficult. This may mean that your attitudes and actions are different from others. People may not understand this.

Counselling for personality disorders

We all think, feel, and act differently, and these are part of who we are. Our thoughts, feelings, and actions are often situational, so we don’t always react in the same way. But most of the time, we act in fairly predictable ways or patterns. It makes up our personality and describes us as kind, shy, selfish, ambitious, affectionate, etc. It’s these patterns that do.

As you mature, your thoughts, feelings, and actions begin to change. However, in general, our personalities do not do this. Instead, it evolves as we age, face new experiences, and learn to cope with life’s challenges. However, this can be difficult if you have a personality disorder.

Personality disorder counselling can help you better understand your thoughts and behaviours. Learn how to focus on your beliefs, control your emotions, and manage your symptoms. It’s important to talk about what you’re going through with friends, family, and qualified professionals. There are different ways to treat personality disorders, but it depends on the situation. Your advisor will work with you to understand and decide which works best.

Ask for help

An important part of treatment for people with personality disorders is your relationship with your doctor. To get the most out of your treatment, it’s important to have someone you trust to support you, listen to you, and believe in you.

Personality disorders usually appear during adolescence and persist into adulthood. You may find it difficult to build and maintain relationships and find it difficult to work effectively with others. Living with a personality disorder can lead to fear of others. This often leads to social isolation, making them feel alienated from others.

However, with the right support and information from the National Institute for Health, you can begin to understand what you are going through. You can learn to build relationships, understand others, manage your emotions, and live a fulfilling life.

Personality Disorder Counselling

The type of treatment offered and the effectiveness of treatment depend on both the severity of symptoms and the locally available treatment. Treatment for personality disorders generally includes psychotherapy. This may include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT), or psychotherapy. Treatment usually lasts at least 6 months, but this varies.

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) is an integration of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Eastern mindfulness practices. This is an evidence-based treatment that has been shown to be effective in helping people develop coping skills in therapeutic communities, reduce self-harm, and improve negative thought patterns. It is validated and empowering because it helps you learn and apply skills to deal with your emotions and impulses. DBT consists of four therapeutic modules.


The definition of mindfulness is “vigilant and nonjudgmental”. Learning to observe and describe emotions without judgement is a fundamental skill that others build, so using mindfulness is important when applying DBT skills.

Stress resistance

This module teaches positive, healthy ways to accept and tolerate distressing emotions and situations without engaging in self-destructive or self-harming behaviour.

Emotional regulation

Teach healthy strategies for dealing with uncomfortable and difficult emotions by helping clients understand and accept their own emotional experiences. The result is increased emotional tolerance and a toolbox of skills to help you manage your impulses and destructive impulses.

Interpersonal effect

The focus of this module is on learning to properly ask for what you want or say no in your relationships. This helps clients maintain self-esteem while reducing conflict and managing and maintaining relationships more effectively.

DBT is effective because people in this type of therapy typically have multiple problems that need attention and lack skills in at least some of those problem areas. In DBT, therapists use a hierarchy of treatment goals to establish a sequence in which problems are addressed. The following goals are supported by DBT therapy therapists:

Life-threatening behaviour

It primarily targets behaviours that can lead to death. This includes all forms of suicidal and non-suicidal self-harm, suicidal ideation, suicidal communication, and other behaviours intended to cause physical harm.

Behaviour that interferes with treatment

This includes any activity that interferes with a person’s effective treatment. These behaviours may occur on the part of clients and/or therapists. Behaviour includes being late for meetings, cancelling appointments, or not cooperating with treatment goals.

Quality of life behaviour

This category includes all other behaviours that impair people with a reasonable quality of life. For example mental illness, relationship problems, financial or housing crisis.

Skill acquisition

  • Learn new skilful behaviours to replace ineffective behaviours and reach your goals.
  • The main goals of DBT skills therapy are:
  • safety
  • create a life worth living
  • effective coping skills

A counsellor or psychotherapist can help you regulate your thoughts and feelings and understand yourself better. Those affected often find that their type of personality disorder improves with age. This may indicate that as they get older, they gain more life experience, manage their reactions and interactions with others, and better understand how to live.

It is this interaction with others that many people with personality disorders find difficult, but it is also an area that can be addressed in counselling and psychotherapy. Some victims unknowingly evoke feelings in others. Professionals can usually help manage this by providing good supervision and the opportunity to speak in a safe, non-judgmental environment. Psychotherapy, DBT and CBT, in particular, are among the most effective treatment methods. Group therapy has also been shown to be effective for personality disorders including BPD. Being in a group situation is different from real life because disagreements and confusion occur in a controlled environment. This is where experts and other stakeholders can help overcome and learn from the issues that arise.

What should I look for in a counsellor or therapist?

Although there are no official laws or regulations that specify the level of training that personality disorder counsellors must undergo, it is good practice to ensure that your therapist has the appropriate qualifications and experience in the treatment you are seeking. Health and care excellence is non-negotiable.

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“From start to finish, it taught me so much about myself.”


“Thank you for challenging me when I needed it.”


“I can’t believe how much progress I’ve made in a short time.”


“After many years of therapy, you are the first person who gets me.”



Ready to book your appointment? Please press the button below to see our online availability. Can’t see what you need, then don’t hesitate to send a message via the contact form below or call or email our offices.

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Whatever your current struggle, we are ready to help you. We offer a free 15 minute phone discussion and we look forward to hearing from you.

We offer online psychiatry, psychology, counselling and psychotherapy appointments.

For clinic appointments we work from Willow Health and DJGP in Guildford, Surrey. Clients come to see us online or from Addlestone, Aldershot, Ashford, Bisley, Camberley, Chertsey, Chobham, Cobham, Cranleigh, Dorking, Egham, Epsom, Esher, Farnham, Farnborough, Fleet, Godalming, Guildford, Haslemere, Horley, Horsham, Kingston, Leatherhead, Lightwater, Oxshot, Redhill, Reigate, Richmond, Send, Shere, Staines-upon-Thames, Sunbury-on-Thames, Surbiton, Virginia Water, Walton-on-Thames, West End, Weybridge, Windlesham and Woking.

If you would like to book an initial consultation, please message or call us, and we will get back to you as soon as we can.



    Willow Health

    4 Paris Parklands


    GU2 9JX



    3 Beaufort Parklands


    GU2 9JX


    Monday – Friday: 9.00am – 9.00pm

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